Self-Injury
Information for Parents, Families and Friends
View a PowerPoint presentation on Self-Injury
Unfortunately, the use of self-injury by adolescents appears to be increasing across the United States and, all too often, parents, families, and friends are ill equipped to respond effectively when learning of a friend’s or loved ones’ use of self-injury. The purpose of this article is to provide accurate and useful information to assist you in understanding and responding appropriately to someone who is using self-injury.
Myths surrounding self-injury include:
1) It is a suicide attempt
2) The person is crazy and needs to be hospitalized
3) They just want attention
Self-injury is NOT a suicide attempt. It is often a coping strategy that prevents a suicide attempt. While, on rare occasions, a self-injurer could accidentally cut too deeply and require immediate medical attention, suicide is not their intent.
Hospitalization may be required due to accompanying mental health issues, such as depression, but self-injury usually does NOT require hospitalization.
Self-injury is a private and secretive act. Every attempt is made to keep others from finding out. Self-injurers usually wear long sleeves and pants to hide their scars. If a scar is seen, they will attribute it to an accident, such as, “ The cat scratched me” or “I fell”. Self-injurers rarely tell close friends, fearing a negative reaction, such as, “You’re sick” or “That’s disgusting”. This holds true for telling parents as well, fearing they will “freak out”.
Understanding Self Injry (SI)
It is crucial that self-injury be seen for what it is, an unhealthy or maladaptive coping strategy. SI is a way to deal with strong, uncomfortable feelings and/or high levels of stress that usually results in temporary relief for the individual. For this reason, telling a self-injurer they must stop or “watching them around the clock” is counter-productive. Reacting by punishing your son or daughter is equally unhelpful. While well intentioned, you may only increase the pressure they feel to self-injure. The most helpful response is to really listen to how they are feeling and attempt to understand what they are going through. You are not approving of or condemning the use of self-injury. Please keep in mind that they are “not doing this to you”. It is something they are doing to themselves. After finding out about a friend or family members use of SI, you want to encourage them to seek professional help.
GETTING HELP
While it is very important to seek professional help, it is absolutely critical that your son/daughter or friend receive counseling from a professional who is comfortable dealing with individuals who use self-injury. We encourage the use of a “phone interview” when contacting an agency or clinic. As the consumer, you have the right to ask questions in order to determine if the counselor/therapist has the training and experience to deal with self-injury. You want a counselor that understands the need for the self-injurer to develop new and healthier ways of coping with their problems. Someone who insists that the client needs to stop using SI or insists on a contract to abstain from SI before developing new coping strategies is a poor choice. This approach would likely lead to additional pressure and increase the likelihood of self-injury occurring.
Additional information on seeking professional assistance is available on the counselor web page. If you would like more information on self-injury, please contact:
Mr. Anderson (eanderso@kusd.edu) 262-359-8676
Mr. Preuss (apreuss@kusd.edu) 262-359-8541